Monuments

Several monumental things happened today.

I woke up at 0700 and didn't go back to sleep. For reals. But yes, it was involuntary. I also forgot to change my underwear when I got dressed. I don't know why, and I am not sure what makes that monumental other than the fact that I have never forgotten to change my underwear in the 30.5 years I have been changing them. (That I remember). Of course there have been days when I have NOT changed my underwear intentionally for whatever reason, or turned the same underwear inside out to avoid laundry for another day, but forgetting? I don't remember ever doing that. I am not sure what the other monumental things are that have happened today, but maybe that's because they haven't happened yet and they will later, but I know they are coming. It is that kind of a day. I can read it in the glowering stars that came down from space because they were bored and now they are trying to pose as clouds but they are much brighter and grayer and flatter than the clouds so they can't fool me. And yes, they are glowering, not glowing, because they are disgruntled stars, who think that we must somehow have it better here on this little green and blue thing because the laughter of millions of children has trickled up through the atmosphere and made them envious.

Today is a good day. In spite of the grey stars and the summer wind that is trying to pretend to be fall because he wants off the hook and doesn't want to do any more work. If I could just find somewhere to hang my hammock it would be better. It isn't that I haven't been called just as many names as always today, by myself and the ones that I would rather be fielding lavish praise from, but the names somehow take on an endearing effect, as if telling myself what a lazy and worthless loafer I am is kind of cute. It is the kind of day when anything is ok. Being a disgruntled star, an imposter wind or a highly complicated piece of white trash - it's all good. Maybe it's the cherry chip cupcakes that susanna made for me because I have a cupcake fetish, and it's the only craving that I can satiate right now. Maybe there is prozac in the air today, or maybe I woke up on Truck's side of the bed and I have the perspective of a dog with no responsibilities and no fleas. Maybe things seem ok because I will see my babies in a few days and will get to be a mother for a little while. How silly, since it is the thing I spend all winter waiting to escape from. Like the stars, and the wind. We always want to be on the other side, until we are there.

I think I will go change my underwear now.