Someday, I hope for redemption. Someday, I hope for restoration. Someday, I hope for the karmic debt that is apparently owed me. But unfortunately, today I feel like the karmic debt is what I am paying in this haphazard life I live. I have made colossal mistakes. I have destroyed good things, and nurtured bad things. I want to love people, to build life. I want to stop this roller coaster of entropy and create my own personal nirvana, me and my babies, in an insular cocoon of beauty. I am ready to quit descending and start climbing, hard and fast to the top. Because Liv always gets top.