on being loose

mostly I said that to see how many people had to read it. my mom wants me to clean my room so I am doing everything in my power to avoid that, and the WAAAAAYYYY overdue homework. I wish I could communicate in words how great I feel having all of my hair gone and leaving all of the years that that hair was associated with, behind me. I really feel free. I mean, I almost hate my short hair, but I love being out from under the burden of what it meant. When I cut it off, with a pair of poultry shears, sitting on the floor of my bedroom in front of my mirror in a legends of the fall moment, I was listening to Sugarland's song "Keep You", on repeat. I am ready. ready to move on. to be done with the anger and the pain and the memories that I have been clinging to so fiercely. I am ready to be happy. To be different and to be driven to my own happiness. Hummingbird sums it up for me. So many songs do. I am just ready. It is time. Maybe more than time. I am Peter Pan, and I will never grow up, and it's good.